I'm Lonely

I can't remember the last time someone looked onto my face and into my eyes. I'm talking about friendship, or just someone that cares, not the clerk at the grocery store or gas station cashier. I live with someone who spends his away from work time, doing nothing but playing video games.
I'm alone yet I live with others.
I miss a friend, someone to talk to, share ideas, exchange compliments and advice. Someone I can be myself with. Someone who would look at me, see me and hear me. There is no one to text or call on the phone. No one to visit or drop in on. No one to hang with or go places with.
 I used to blame myself, autism, self absorbency and all. But I was born this way and I know I do my best. I've had friends before, briefly, for a few months. I think then, that they realize it's to much work to be my friend, too demanding and unpredictable. I get shutdowns fairly regularly, whole days where I can barely move to meet my own needs, much less meet someone for coffee.
 The outside world seems more unpredictable and chaotic, of late. Each venture out I risk getting overwhelmed and shutdown for even longer. Can't seem to do anything productive. Feel pretty useless. Trying to be okay with myself. With being alone. With having no one that sees me.
Pathetic thing..I go to see a therapist just so I can hold her hand, so someone knows I'm alive, so I feel I'm alive.
 Have to learn to be a friend to myself, the friendless, the lost, bewildered and alone.